partying with the party

The Grand Old Party, that is. The good old GOP. Which starts with "G" and ends with "P" and stands for Republicans. God bless their fiscally and socially conservative souls.

I shambled my way down to the State Capitol Building this past Tuesday along with 1000-1200 of my AFSCME brothers and sisters, union thugs one and all. This was for my second AFSCME Day on the Hill since joining the rank and file. For those of you who aren't caught up on the roster of the virulently anti-American, quasi-terrorist organizations which are trying to ruin the country with their inflated wages, bloated benefits and unaffordable pension plans, AFSCME stands for the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees. The average AFSCME employee paycheck yields somewhere in the vicinity of $38K pre-taxes per annum, so it's pretty easy to see what a drain on the country's resources this crowd of socialist agitators is.

This Day on the Hill thing (hereinafter referred to as DOTH, maybe) is an annual event for AFSCME members to descend on the Capitol in an unholy attempt to cow our hard-working and always productive state legislators into handing over control of the state and the country to the rabble. Why, it's enough to merit evoking Marie Antoinette on that cake eating bit. The union provides a free lunch (maybe there is such a thing, after all) and a packetful of Big Labor propaganda (to memorize and spout at the lawmakers) and luxury motor coach transport back and forth between the Crowne Plaza Hotel and the Capitol. The union bosses will even go so far as to pick up the tab for lost wages for members who skip out on their overpaid jobs to make the scene. My gosh, it's as if the Iron Curtain has been rehung right here in downtown Saint Paul. Maybe this mob of unwashed troublemakers has forgotten that Ronald Reagan single-handedly forced the godless commies to tear down that wall.

At any rate, it didn't seem like the legislators were having any of it. Ever since the GOPers wrested control of both houses of the legislature out of the hands of the Wellstone-inspired fanatics back in 2010, they've been able to dig in their heels and draw some battle lines in their crusade to reclaim the country and the Constitution. Maybe some day they'll get around to reading the whole thing and not just the parts that justify their dreams of taking us back to the 1890's. For the second year in a row, I got to lay eyes on Mary Kiffmeyer as she glided effortlessly over the marble floors on her way to do battle against the widespread conspiracy of voting fraud. And who would know better about this threat to the right to the franchise than this former Secretary of State? Pay no attention to the fact that nobody's been able to show much in the way of evidence of concerted voter fraud; it's gotta be out there somewhere and, by God, we need a Voter ID law. And she and her party's knights are hard at work to put a Right to Work amendment into the constitution, too. Again, pay no attention to all of the numbers which show that right to work laws guarantee only the right to work for less.

Shortly after Mary got herself rousted out of her cushy Secretary of State gig by that horrible little ACORN tool Mark Ritchie, she set her eyes on greener pastures and now represents the good people of Big Lake in the Big House. No, not the women's correctional facility in Shakopee, I'm talking about the Minnesota House of Representatives. From this lofty vantage point, she's been able to make some ambitious plans to protect our voting rights. She plans to do this, apparently, by taking away the voting rights of the young, the elderly, absentee ballot casters, actively serving armed forces members, vets' home residents, members of communities of color...you get my drift; the list goes on. And, if these constituencies might tend to lean a little to the left, well...that's a small price to pay to preserve democracy. And an amazing coincidence besides.

But c'mon. For whom do we send our legislators to work in St. Paul, after all? Is it the fat cats and the big money interests that fund Republican election campaigns or is it the squalid malcontents pulling down 38 thou a year? I know who gets my vote.

If Mary Kiffmeyer has ascended to my personal hall of fame of politicians (up there with Michele Bachmann and Mitch McConnell), I'm growing more and more intrigued by this nice, cleancut Rick Santorum guy. I oohed and aahed in this forum awhile back about his knack for stylin' a sweater vest (Minnesota-made, it turns out) but I never dreamed that, by now, he'd be within 1100 delegates or so of wrapping up the Republican nomination for the honor of vanquishing that Obamma guy from the White House in November. Well, he is and he's serious about it. I missed my golden opportunity to see Senator (if former) Santorum in person when I turned the car northwest to go to work on Thursday rather than locking the GPS on due east. Turns out that candidate Santorum was stirring up the party faithful just across the St. Croix River in Hudson, Wisconsin. He's been stumping the state in anticipation of Tuesday's primary. I'm sure he did himself proud in Hudson and I'm sorry I missed my chance to be in the presence of greatness. But maybe not as proud as he did himself the following day in Janesville. Now that was some stump speech.

Oh you Republicans. You folks surely do know how to put on one heck of an entertaining campaign for your party's Presidential nomination. I'm as happy as can be to have been partying with you last Tuesday.