wednesday's to-do list.

01/05/10

Tomorrow is the last full day before I go back under the surgeon's knife on Thursday. Doesn't that sound dramatic? Most of you who are reading this (and whatinthehell is wrong with you anyway?) know what's happened to me and feel a heck of a lot sorrier for the doctors and the rest of the O.R. team than you do for me. I probably deserve that. Regardless of how stupid I look right now, Wednesday is shaping up to be one busy day for livingsimpleton.

Susan has promised me excitement galore tomorrow night after she gets home from her day of radicalizing America's future leaders. We will, of course, tune in for another DVD chapter in the history of the Jed Bartlett presidency. We're up through episode 6 of season 1 of The West Wing and what with sparks just starting to fly between Zoe and Charlie I can't hardly wait. And Susan has hinted that we might spend a few hours taking ornaments off of the Christmas tree and storing them away until next year. I haven't really broached the subject with her yet but, really, isn't that what an artificial tree is all about? Why can't we just leave the damn thing up this year? There's only about 10 1/2 months to go before it would be seasonally appropriate again and it's not like we need to keep watering it. Yeah, dust might be an issue but I could finally haul that shop vac that I bought back in '06 out of the box and try it out in leaf blower mode. A couple of puffs from that baby and all the dust would roll up into little dust bunnies in the corners and under the couch for easy disposal at a later date. A much later date.

But I'm not going there. Despite the obvious common sense of it and the example that some of the neighbors set in not getting their holiday greenery and lighting down until Memorial Day, I won't fight putting away the Christmas tree. Even given the real likelihood that I won't be able to figure out which plugs to connect to which sockets to get the lights to work next year. It was a near thing this year and I'm pretty sure that I'm not gonna be a whole lot sharper come next Thanksgiving. But I'll man up and do what she tells me. This is almost always my MO when she's around to watch me and cuff me behind the ear if she catches me straying from the one true path.

It's going to make for a very busy day though. I need to call the closing agent and tell her that, OK, we'll cheerfully come up with the extra $3100 that we didn't expect to have to pony up at closing. And I need to call my insurance agent who will go through the provisions of the disability policy that I've been paying $2400 a year for, none of which provisions will entitle me to a red cent now that I am actually disabled since I'm also actually unemployed at this time. I'll also probably try and slog through the last of the latest batch of data entry paperwork that my friends at Micawbers have dropped off for me.

That's the mundane stuff necessary to pass as members-in-full of the middle class, a charade that we need to continue or risk getting thrown out of our house. Just because it's vital doesn't mean I have to embrace it but I will get it done. However, the really important stuff will be preparing my little cocoon for the next three months of enforced bed rest following the surgery.

I already hauled a half a dozen dvds upstairs. Actually Miz Susan did that. Sucker. I noticed while browsing the shelves of dvds that we actually own movies that I've never yet watched. Honest. I wouldn't make this stuff up. I figure two or three roundtrips and I'll have the film library split between the main floor and the recovery room on the second floor adequately enough to keep me partially entertained for most of my rehab.

Ditto for CD's. I plan to actually listen to some of the couple dozen or so (conservatively) CD's that I've bought with the best intentions over the years but then somehow didn't quite get around to getting cued up in the player. I listened to quite a bit of music last time around but I found myself logging alot of time on KBEM. Between bouts of gritting my teeth over the mispronunciations of musicians' names (the great Ellington alto saxman Johnny Hodges billed as Johnny Hogs. c'mon!) and the mangling of the news and sportscasts (no, the Twins don't trail the hated Tigers by four one two games, that's 4 and a half games. honest. i wouldn't make this stuff up.) I was making lists of music that I just had to buy, much to the delight of various third party sellers on Amazon and eBay. I'm even farther behind on stuff to listen to from last summer and fall. I plan to be better this time but I need to haul the darn things into the bedroom for easy access.

And books. I might try a quick skulk down to the basement to look for some of the books that I haven't seen since I brought them home from the Hungry Mind 25-plus years ago. No time like the present. I'm dying to find those two Brad Solomon mysteries that I never quite got through.

I wish that there was something that I could do about stockpiling food in the bedroom. I know that I could stuff tons of junk food between the box spring and the mattress and Susan would never even suspect it. I'm tempted to make a run to the local corner grocery to update Salieman on my latest relapse and to stock up on crackers and malted milk balls but it's going to be butt cold out there again tomorrow and the ice is actually cause for concern. Likewise with one last swing through the drive-thrus of the various fast food restaurants within a quick trip's radius. Goddamn, as I write this I'm staring at a little booklet of McDonald's coupons that she was taunting me with the other day. Buy one, get one free on Big Macs. Free fries and a drink with the purchase of an Angus Third Pounder. And if that's not tempting enough, how about the free Mac Snack Wrap. All of your favorite Big Mac ingredients (minus the sesame seed bun) conveniently wrapped in a white flour tortilla. You just know that's gonna cut way back on the calories and fat grams. I'm seriously weighing the risks of a ruptured quad on the other leg to get out there and try one of those little gems. Is this a great country or what?!